Brilliance (Or The Lack Thereof): Writing A Genius Character...

...Is bloody fuckin' hard. And before someone says that it's not, let me warn you: I have a very smelly, very dead fish to smack you with if you say it.

I see the mouths snapping shut from here.

You see, the thing about writing a genius character is that you either underdo it ('Jimmy saw the paper-clip, and realised that the thief had obviously removed it from the stack of deeds he had stolen') or overdo it ('Jimmy looked at the lake and realised that the evil Dr. Amorpheus had stolen the keys to President Reagan's personal go-cart and was planning on rigging it with atomic bombs stolen from Area 51'). Genius is hard to capture in real life, but in fiction? Fuck looking for a needle in a haystack, you're looking for one atom of anti-grav per several billion iron atoms (Thanks, Whitley Strieber!)

So, what makes a genius different from other people (other than being really smart?) Seriously, think about this. Do you personally know anyone you would describe as brilliant? What else is different about them? Somehow, I doubt they use their 'powers' of intelligence to score chicks. And, if they do -- wow, you've got some kick-ass friends. I also doubt that they use them to solve crimes or save the world. Triple the badass if you know one who does all three. Watching a James Bond movie does not count.

No, genuine genii are hard to capture in a few words. I mean, they're smart, yeah. But that whole idea that with brilliance comes madness? Yeah, that's not too far off the mark. That link leads to a site dedicated to psychiatric patients who are really fucking smart. Articles, forums, the whole shebang de bang (I also really like the name Icarus Project. Go to the forum page).

The thing about really smart people is that, well, your character is likely way smarter than you. Statistically. Not sayin' you're stupid, or something, but the threshold for MENSA application (depending on which test you take, of course) is 132 for the Stanford-Binet, 148 for the Cattel, or at least in the 98th percentile. Just to put that in perspective: average scores are 90-109, a 100 on the Cattel, or really anything below 97%. It's really, really hard to be classified as a genius. Brilliance, however, may be closer to you than you think.

Brilliance is not the lack of genius, but rather the lack of classification. Everyone has their moment in the sun, and if writing a brilliant character is too difficult (or too out of the question), writing a character with those occasional bursts of beyond-the-pale intelligence is within the ballpark.

Victory will have to do a full post (or several. Or a novel) on the art of characterisation, but for now, the genius post will do. I think at some point I'll address archetypes...

Oh! And keep this on the down low, but in a couple months you might see the advent of a new set of artists, here in podunky Vermont. Proser Studios... we shall see...

God, it's good to be back.

Avoiding Plot-Holes In the Road

I really wanted to make a joke about road-head up there, but I refrained due to politeness and the fact that it would have made my title ridiculously long.

Pardon my long absence – living in a rural area with no internet is a problem many of us in America and, indeed, many of us in the world share. I merely thank whatever deity that may or may not exist that there are such blessings as public libraries. Anywho. To the post.

Plot-holes are the parts of a story that go unresolved. Occasionally, plot-holes are a fabulous way to segue into a sequel, prequel, or another series altogether. And other times, they're the horrifying interruption to the amazing road-head of a good novel (see, there's my road-head joke.)

Sometimes, they're minor (why was there a knife in the bedroom, anyway?), and sometimes they're not (using a famous, copyrighted example here – why didn't E.T. just fly away from the government officials in the first place? And none of that crap about a heart-light, either.)

Step one to fixing plot-holes? Prevent them in the first place. Explain how the knife got into the bedroom, why Jillian couldn't use her magical cure-all to save Jimmy, what caused the sonic rainbow that gave everypony their Cutie Mark (bronies, thank me later). Maybe the main character was sharpening a pencil and couldn't find a sharpener, so he used a knife (very manly). Maybe Jillian used it all up on saving Ryan, and didn't have anything left for Jimmy. Maybe a Pegasus was in a race for another Pegasus' honour, and flew with all of her might and created a sonic rainbow with the power of her desire to win.

Step two? Resolve or explain the conflicts, but don't drop them. Suppose both Carrie-Ann and Alina are in love with Starship Commander Rufus, but he's too busy fighting an inter-stellar war to notice anyone but his Lieutenant, Mikel. Don't just say Carrie-Ann and Alina are in love with him – make it affect their actions, the way they interact with each other and the centre of Rufus' attention, Mikel.

Is that the only way to do it? Heck, no! Sometimes the deliciousness of a good novel comes from the fact that there are unresolved conflicts. Mikel never admits to his feelings for Rufus, Alina and Carrie-Ann never get the man of their dreams, Rufus (in typical oblivious superior fashion) never realises the nature of Mikel's loyalty to him. But notice that the conflicts are explained. We know that Mikel will never admit it, we know that Carrie-Ann and Alina are unfulfilled, we know that Rufus is so oblivious he wouldn't notice if Mikel danced in front of him wearing little more than a brown paper napkin around his manly bits.

Also? If you leave explained unresolved conflicts in your book/movie/play/graphic novel, it opens up a whole world for the fans who are dying to draw fan comics and write fanfiction. Take it from a fanfiction writer – it's true. There's much more to play with in series that have explained unresolved conflicts than ones where everything is tied up neatly like a package. Those are enjoyable, but they don't leave much room to wonder.

Step three, and this one's so tricky it requires all capslock – CRAFT THE STORY IN SUCH A WAY THAT THERE ARE NO PLOT-HOLES!!!!!

For those of you who aren't lying on the ground, bowled over by my enthusiasm, that means you have to be really good before you even start writing. You have to plan.

I see winces from my seat in little podunk Vermont. I can even hear you whining – 'But, Victory!!! I write best when I don't have a plan!'

Really? You just sit down and write, and masterpieces come out? Liar. You sit down with a scene in your head, or a character in mind, or a place to write about, or any number of things, and then it comes from there. But I'm asking you to take it to the next level.

In fact, I'm asking you to do something even published writers have trouble doing. I'm asking you to know where your story starts, and where it ends, and the major events that get the book from A to Z. No, seriously. You have to think about it before you can write it. And I don't mean you have to know everything – I could never tell you to do that, because I could never do that. But know the mechanics of the event before it happens. Does your main character kill off the villain with the Spear of Destiny in chapter forty three? Then it's safe to say that you really should have an idea of how they got the Spear of Destiny before, say, chapter forty two. Because that kind of sounds like the climax of your story, and you really should explain it.

So, the steps (in easy-to-reference format):

1. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. No, seriously. It is. And that's a quote from Ben Franklin, in case you haven't previously had this quote shoved down your throat.
2. Resolve or explain conflicts. Occasionally both, but never neither.
3. PLAN! PLAN! PLAN!!

There you go, the three steps to avoid plot-holes.

Got questions in particular or a writing topic you want me to address? Feel that such-and-such controversial topic could do with Victory's spicy-hot wit(?) Let me know, and if I find it interesting I'll write up a post for it.

Next up on Worlds of My Devising: Cultural Influences. Stay tuned!

He Said, She Said -- Believable Dialogue (Beware Clichéd Title)

Victory (V): O, woe is me, o alack the day! Dialogue -- thou art surely one of the demons of creation, sent from He who burns beneath earth, to plague those who --

Red (R): What the hell is with the Shakespeak, Victory?

V: It's for the dialogue post. What, you don't like?

R: It's kind of... well, it's kind of dorky.

V: Like I've ever cared about that. Everyone, this is Red -- one of the various inhabitants of the multiverse in my head. Say hi!
R: 'Lo. Focus on the point of the post.

V: Ah, right! Okay, today's topic is dialogue -- the evil bastard that many beginning writers struggle with (and many published writers do, too. Yeah, Stephanie Meyer, I'm lookin' at you.) Dialogue seems easy as hell -- most first-time writers think that the hardest part is scene set up and plot. But Dialogue really is a pain in the ass --

R: -- Even if it looks simple at first. Look at this. Victory and I have different speech patterns, as she tends to use a lot of dashes and long sentences. I use short ones.

V: One person may speak a lot, and the other very little, but the one who says very little might be saying more. If that sentence makes any sense.

R: It doesn't. But not every character knows perfect grammar. If Victory had used perfect grammar in every sentence it wouldn't sound authentic.

V: Another thing to remember is accents -- don't let them overpower the actual sentence. If the reader can't -- you know, read it -- then there's no point to them saying anything.

R: Don't say 'said' all the time. But be sure to make it make sense -- is there isn't an 's' in the sentence, why would the character 'hiss' it?

V: Quick work, but it'll do -- adios!

Self-Editing: I Really Need To Do This More

Before we get to the actual purpose of this post, Victory would like to say one thing:

My life is full of fuck.

Thank you, dduane, for correcting me – indeed, it was Wolfram von Eschenbach who first wrote down the original version of Parsifal, not Sir Tomas Malory. The edit is greatly appreciated.

And yes, for those of you wondering just why, exactly, dduane sounds familiar, that's because she is Diane Duane, author of So You Want To Be a Wizard, the book I included in my list of books that use the 'average teen with latent powers and/or destiny' section of my last post. And yes, for those of you hissing in sympathy and/or crowing 'dduane for the win', I was thoroughly embarrassed. Not for what I said – that is entirely my personal opinion, as are all of my posts, and I will not apologise for them. But because she actually found the one post where I said something bad about that series... -sighs- Well, can't win all of them.

However, in spite of the slightly (ahem) clichéd beginning of the Young Wizards series, can I just say: I am only ever critical towards works (excepting, of course, the Mary-Sues) I greatly respect. Everything else is, at the risk of sounding egocentric, not worth my time. And dduane, I am honoured you took the time to read my post.

Alright, now that the grovelling is over, let's get to the purpose of this post: self-editing. Many high-school English teachers will tell you this is impossible. I ask you now to imagine a buzzer going off.

I am here to tell you they're wrong. It's harder, yes; you have a bias, yes; but before you can count it out, consider that whole draft process they told you about in English class. And what is that but a self-edit?

Cue lightbulb.

When editing, it's important to keep your bias in mind. You will always be biased; that's what makes an editor a writer's best friend (and occasionally their most hated enemy.) But sometimes that bias will come in handy. Where an editor could potentially look at a chapter and say 'cut it' without blinking an eye, a writer would remember favourite sentences and rewrite the chapter, thus salvaging something that, without a bias, would be scrapped.

On the other hand, seriously consider the import of the section to the rest of the piece. If it's a long soliloquy on life and the meaning thereof in the middle of a teenage comedy novel? You might want to reconsider that. Remember the focus of the piece – the overarching atmosphere and (I hate to say it) 'message' of the writing. Metaphors, while beautiful, can clog up a perfectly good piece of work. Motifs should have something to do with the mood of the piece, and show up more than when you're just in the mood to plop them in.

Grammar. The foe of writers. We simultaneously hate it and love it (it makes us sound so pretty, but it's such a bitch to work with; it's a bit like the main soprano in Norma, actually.) But no matter your opinion, it can sometimes be the most painful part of editing. That clever work of wordplay? Just got bitch-slapped by the fact that you put an unnecessary apostrophe in 'its', ruining the meaning. Applause, jack ass. Now fix it.

But grammar is a sneaky bastard – sometimes a sentence that reads normally fails fantastically once read aloud and you realise you used the wrong 'their' or 'to'. And while writers would like to think themselves above it, everyone does it. Even Victory (though I hate admitting it. It's like admitting that you peed in the pool. Shameful.)

Oh, but then there is something beyond even grammar that makes the main soprano from Norma look easy to work with, and that's rhythm.

There was once a poet that went outside and stood on a cliff, shouting his works to the wind, just to make sure it sounded right. That, m'dears, is dedication, and if you don't have a cliff, go find one, because you need dedication to make it in this line of work.  I'm not talking iambic pentameter, here – just make sure your sentence trips off the tongue like a klutz up the stairs. And shake it up – place short sentences amid long ones, or the reader will fall asleep.

So remember:

1.         Focus: Find it, and stick with it. Take care to repair where you step out of line.

2.         Grammar: Learn it, use it, and for the love of the Goddess, don't lose it!

3.         Rhythm: If you don't have this, go out and purchase soul music, and soul food, and soul cakes, because you need some serious soul. Or listen to jazz. Or rock. Something with a driving rhythm. And start using it.

I should really start making these posts longer, but unfortunately, I only have enough time between this, fanfic, and trying to finish up Sepulchre in time to publish it before I'm eighteen to write short, two page things.

Next up: I tackle dialogue. And yes, it will be written entirely in script form.

Going Awry: Why Not All Story Ideas Should Be Written Out

Yeah, I'm lookin' at you, fellow fanfiction writers.

First of all, I should give a reasonable explanation for the title.

As a reader, you should know that not all books came about as fantastic claps of inspiration from the big Author in the Sky (and the few that do... well, we'll talk about those in a minute.) Very rarely does a whole plot appear suddenly, with characters created and waiting for you to detail their adventure. Plots often begin (in mine and other efllow writer's experience) with something small. A scene, a piece of dialogue, a mindset, hell, sometimes the weather is all that's needed to produce a seed.

Unfortunately, some of those seeds should just stay seeds, instead of growing into the sickly, browning philodendrons that litter the rooms of would-be novelists. (And before you ask, I do own a philodendron and it's doing quite well, thank you.)

Like slasher fics. Not slash fics -- those are perfectly acceptable. But slasher fics -- where one or more characters cut themselves? That's retarded. If it's a genuine part of the plot (beyond 'love interest finds out and tries to save them from themselves'), then I guess it's okay, but honestly. Think about it. How many people do you know cut themselves? No, seriously, think about this. I'll wait.

Not many, right? So why do your characters need to do it? It's not going to make anyone sympathetic, and it sure as fuck doesn't make your character look introspective. It makes him/her look whiny. And their love interest look stupid ("I didn't know you were cutting off your arm nightly, despite the fact that we've been in a loving relationship for two years! Honest!")

Oh, you ask, is that it? No, my friends, Victory's rant is not over yet. For she still has to tackle some other things.

Like the "Average kid sucked into something beyond their understanding." We know this. We've all seen this. Hell, we may have even written it -coughguiltyaschargedcough-. That doesn't mean it's good. Because, quite frankly, it's not.

Let's face it, we like to read the whole 'triumph over unthinkable odds' bullshit, but really? The whole "I like books, so I can become a wizard" ((c) Diane Duane), or "I'm a little creature who's thoroughly useless, let's send me on an impossible mission" ((c) J. R. Tolkien), is a little old. Hell, it was old before these guys -- ever heard of Parsifal? Not the Wagner, but the original Sir Malory works. Seriously. It's old. And for some unfathomable reason, it's not getting any younger. I wonder why? /sarcasm.

Okay, I'll only spit and roast one more before I leave the other poor fanficton writers to wonder when their turn is next. And that, m'dears, is the Mary-Sue.

Oh, you thought it was only fanfic that did this? No. Not by a long shot.

The Hunger Games? Mary-Sue.

Twilight? Mary-Sue.

Nightworld? Mary-Sue.

Ecery teen novel ever? Mary-goddamn-fucking-Sue.

The definition of a Mary-Sue is a character that is beloved by all but their enemies, with multiple love interests, and is almost invincible (but for when their vulnerability is a plot-device). They typically have some werid name, some all-encompassing power, and a back story so said they could drink orphan tears for the rest of their lives.

Sound familiar?

Yes?

Then Don't post, and let that idea wilt where it stands. Seriously. There's never a lack of bad lit, so go find some and read it, instead of clogging my interwebs with your bullshit.

/rant.

The Black Hole of Gaping Plot-Lack -- i.e., Writer's Block

FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKK.

With that out of my system, I can actually get started on the point of this post -- which is, to those of you capable of reading titles, writer's block. That horror, that menace, that evil being that lurks over every writer's day like a hammer over an anvil. And considerably less productive -- at least a hammer and anvil accomplish something when the day's done.

Not that, of course, that changes anything in the long run; I can place as many ominous similes as I want in its immediate vicinity, but it will still haunt me.

In fact, it will continue to haunt me until I get past the chapters in Spoink! I'm stuck on. For those of you unaware of my massive graphic novel project, Spoink! (which, yes, is also the name of a Pokemon) is a fourth-wall-breaker that is a parody of most manga clichés, while managing to tell an actual story. It's currently in script form (by far the most irritating part of graphic-novelising, behind the thumb-printing), and I'm caught on one of the key chapters because -- let's face it, Victory, it's boring.

Boring?! Oh, Goddess, I can see it now -- the entire novel failing because the stupid exposition chapters ruined it for everyone!

Hence the extended fuck at the beginning of this post.

So, here are Victory's key ways to get the hell out of writer's block. Maybe by writing them down I'll help myself.

1. Skip ahead to the next part. If you know where you're going, just not the finer details of how you get there, just start writing the part you know. Then go back when you have a flash of inspiration (or just really need to get it done.)

2. Go for a walk. Make a soufflé. I don't care how you get the hell away from your project, just get the hell away from the bloody thing before you collapse into a state of quivering inspiration-less jello. And then you'll never finish; how's that for incentive?

3. Start writing. No, I don't mean start writing what you're working on; just a stream of consciousness. No backspace button; take it off the damn keyboard if you have to. The delete key, too, if that helps. Just write exactly what's in your brain until you're either relaxed enough to go back to writing (which may take a while) or you've hit inspiration (which may take longer).

4. WRITE SOMETHING ELSE. A poem, maybe, or a short story, or another novel(la) idea that's been buzzing around your brain. Just don't forget your original goal -- come back to the first piece after twenty minutes or so (unless you're really on a roll).

Ah... I feel much better, now. Maybe I'll go start thumb-printing chapter three again.

Or not. As I said, thumb-printing sucks worse than scripting. -shudders-

Relating Real-World Disasters to Writing: On Disaster-Fic

Ah... A good rant. Sometimes you just need those.

I'm sure everyone has heard of the Japanese earthquake recently; 8.8 on the Richter scale, etc. And now, unfortunately, I am seeing the consequences.

No, I have not grown a third arm from radiation exposure (though, to be frank, if it was a working arm I might welcome such a change) nor have I felt any rumbling and shaking (Vermont is relatively safe, though certainly not fault-free), but as an online editor for fellow internet-posting writers, I too have felt the strain.

Why? People feel compelled now, of all times, to write disaster-fic.

Disaster-fic? You ask, blinking in a surprised manner. Surely not, Victory -- disaster-fic is much too soon. Of course, your assumed statements take into account that you know what disaster-fic is, so if you don't, let it be clear that I assume you possess the intelligence to figure it out. Assume makes an ass out of you and me, but humour me.

But, yes, it is true -- within a week of that tragic disaster, I have received at least two projects that deal with that same earthquake. To be honest, I felt a mixture of depression, annoyance, and respect -- one of the pieces was at least eight thousand words, which, while not a staggering sum, is certainly impressive given the time frame.

Be that as it may, am I the only one who cries, 'Too soon!'? With bodies washing up on the shores and nuclear plants on the brink of meltdown (hm, perhaps that is an exaggeration), I cannot but feel as if the tragedy of Japan is being treated too lightly.

So, in respect to that, Victory's first law of disaster-fic:
Wait at least a month! If nothing else, wait out of respect to the people who have lived through the disaster you are writing about.

Victory's second law:
Research is key! In this example, don't set your story in Izumo City if you want your characters to be in thick of it. Know your locale, know your facts, and know your psyche. If their lives are in danger, put them in survival mode.

Victory's third law:
Tastefulness is a must. Don't overdo it if it doesn't need over-doing. Don't drape a son in his mother's dead body unless that is a plot point. Honestly, disaster-fic can be gruesome and horrifying, but it doesn't need to be theatrical.

And, finally, Victory's fourth law:
Be precise. Don't say that the beaches are covered in debris or dead bodies unless they would be.

Disaster-fic is difficult to write, simply because fiction is contending with the real thing -- the survivors. And, above all else, don't be condescending if someone tells you that's not how it happened. For Goddess' sake,I should think a survivor would know better than a girl safely ensconced in Wisconsin.

Rant over, for the moment.

Emphasis on 'for the moment'.

Explanation As To Why, Exactly, I Have A Multiverse In My Head

In a phrase? I'm a writer.

Not that, of course, that marks me out as special in any way, shape, or form; it simply implies that, yes, there is a legitimate reason I have a multiverse in my head.

Which, in and of itself, is a pretty bewildering statement. But, hey! My blog, my mind, and I'm damn well within my rights to say what I please. Could be worse.

So, to come back to the point, the multiverse that currently takes up a large portion of my brain (the other portion is saved for teenage fantasies and good frying recipes, which, oddly enough, pop up pretty often in the multiverse) is entirely responsibvle for any lapses in sanity you may have been witness to. Any and all, as a matter of fact.

But the true purpose of this post is not to complain about the lack of equilibrium between my creations and myself (I'll magnanimously save that for another post), but to introduce you to myself.

Oh -- and a warning for all future posts. If anyone is inclined to steal these characters or plots or locales for anything other than a pre-requested story and/or doujin, I will do my very best to bring you to justice. Clear? Excellent. I was scared I'd have to threaten you with my cattle-prod.

Soon I'll post on my current universe -- the continents of Anadou, Kep'po, and Buma. Look for that relatively soon, and if it's not up in two weeks, I'm a lazy bum and you have the right to call me such. Until then, this writer is returning to her crazy, mad-cap, hectic day.