Shall We, M'Dear?: A Look at Romance (Sec. 1)

Ahaha! I made it back! Finally, I possess a laptop, so that means I can post once more!

Ahem. Moving onto today's long-as-hell topic of choice: romance. A bit of a touchy subject in today's fandom-based world. What? Don't believe me? Look at how many popular shows and books and such and such are based on someone else's creations.

Laurie R. King's Mary Russel series? Why, thank you, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Or perhaps that's not your thing? Look at all the Marvel movies this year. Or movies based on books. Hell, they even made a movie of 'Diary of A Wimpy Kid'.

But all of this fandom happiness (admit it, you love it when this shit happens) leads to one thing. One thing, and it's very, very sad.

That's right. Shipping wars.

Goddamn it, guys. Guys. Guys, stop this right now.

Look, I'm all for a good ship-war, but this is ridiculous! Everywhere. Everywhere I see people with slash-goggles or anti-slash-goggles permanently affixed to their heads, and when the more creative of those people get angry, and the fandom has gone pub-dom, well...

Alright, enough with the GIFs, because you know and I know that they're basically page filler, albeit amusing page filler.

Perhaps I'm going off on a tangent here. Ultimately, the goal of this post was not to rant about the idiots and their ship-wars. It was to try and stop people from writing crappy romance and posting it on the internet. Nothing I say will do that, but maybe the four people looking at this thing will  spread the word (I doubt it).

In other words, this is going to be a long-ass, motherfucking post.

Let's start this out organised, and break it down. This will be done in three parts, split up according to the genders involved, and try to address as many subgenres as quickly is possible. Before we start, no, I'm not homophobic, that's not why this is split up. Fuck.

Okay, preface out of the way. Onto the actual post.

Section 1. Heterosexual (Straight) Romance

Oh, fuck, here we go.

LET'S TRY TO ADDRESS THE CREEPY-AS-FUCK TURN MOST ROMANCE NOVELS ARE GOING DOWN, mkay?

Also, this will focus primarily on YA fiction, because that's what I write, and will continue to write, Fiction Gods be willing, and a smattering of adult fiction.

What was I talking about?

RIGHT, THE CREEPY-AS-FUCK TURN romance has been taking.

Has anyone else noticed this? All the romance books I've been reading (and fanfiction, too) has been glorifying what is essentially an abusive relationship. Want examples? Fifty Shades of series, Twilight series, House of Night novels, Vampire Diaries... Oh, perhaps you were looking for fanfiction? Let's look at the recent explosion of stuff that has been blown out of the ass of such notable shows as Sherlock (Irene Adler's cool, but I really don't think Sherlock would be cool with all this) or Glee (teenage girls are not that vulnerable, people!)

Now, don't get me wrong. There are definitely girls who idolise the sort of controlling relationships that are portrayed in these works or fanworks. The only notable pairing I can think of that steps out of these boundaries would be the Adler/Holmes, stuff, and that's only because the majority of fic portrays Sherlock as a complete and total pussy, in or out of the bedroom. (There are, of course, people who execute the sub/dom lifestyle well; if that is you, this isn't directed at you).

It's sending a hell of a message to girls these days. How many of you remember the general teenage reaction to Chris Brown and Rihanna? Yeah, that SHE was in the wrong, that she 'should have stood by her man' (quote attributed to an NPR show). Those same girls lap up the Twilight series and its recent sister-series like they were manna in the desert.

Not to mention (okay, totally mentioning it) the recent trend of fictional men who don't know how to not stalk and abuse women.

LOOK AT HIS FACE. LOOK AT IT. If that doesn't scream 'I'm going to watch you so closely that you will never have to worry about other men looking at you, my sweet sugar lips' than nothing ever will.

God, I have to type with that blinking in my face. The sacrifices I make for you guys.

The positive side is that no guy wants to be caught dead with one of these novels (and I do hesitate to use that term here). The negative side is that their girlfriends dragged them to the movie, or they watch a televised rip off, or they read Fifty Shades of Grey at the behest of their friends and family.

Now, I'm sure that in certain social circles, these terrible farces of literary hemorrhage are considered 'a good read' (not a quote from anyone, thank god). But you wouldn't be reading this if you enjoyed that sort of thing, anyway.

So. Let's try to give a few pointers on creating believable romance (I promise, it comes in angsty, half and half, and angst-free.)

1. Strong Female/Male Narration

I really can't emphasise this enough. If your character is strong, it isn't hard to fall in love with them. Male, female, alien, genderqueer, doesn't matter.

That doesn't mean, of course, that they are flawless. An example of strong female narration (even though it isn't necessarily good romance) would be Hunger Games. No groans, now, guys; let's face it, Katniss may be disdained by the hipster-crowd and revered by the masses, but when push comes to shove, Katniss Everdeen don't give a fuck. Ever. It's like the fuck-giving gene is completely absent from her biological makeup.

She doesn't cry and break down when she gets cut; she cries when (SPOILER ALERT) her sister dies because of stupid fucking reasons that were perfectly preventable had anyone thought at all. She ends up as happy as someone with severe post-traumatic stress disorder could in a world without the necessary intensive therapy, and throughout it all she manages to look so bad ass that even Twilight fangirls have been converted.

Regardless of your personal opinions on the book, Katniss was an example of strong narration (someone who, ultimately, was easy to love.)


2. Common Sense.

If your significant other really, really likes the idea of you hurt, and you aren't similarly turned on by that thought, most people call that a deal-breaker.


Unless you're in a romance novel!!!

Seriously, can I see one story where the girl doesn't subjugate her own soul to please the guy, and/or the guy is controlled by his 'empowered' (read: abusive) girlfriend? It's like no one's aware that the 'sub/dom' switch is less of a switch than a dial. There is such a thing as equality.

3. Realistic Expectations.

This is about to go down a road you won't expect:

If your characters are teenagers, it is absolutely a good call to have them believe that love lasts forever.

I know, I've been ranting about healthy relationships for a while now, but ultimately, teenage/young adult relationships all have this snag. The relationship ends, and they might see it coming, but sure as the sun rises in the fucking east, they won't believe it until it slaps them in the face with the cold, still-flopping fish of reality.

Or the mirror. Whatever.

Sections Two and Three will be published at a later date. Thakns.

Tech Post: Other Sites To Find Me On

Tumblr: http://worldsofmydevising.tumblr.com/

DA: http://proser132.deviantart.com/

Fictionpress: http://www.fictionpress.com/u/655382/proser132

Fanfiction: Solely archive purposes now. All new stuff and favourite old stuff will be moved to AO3. http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1761737/proser132

AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/users/proser132/pseuds/proser132
          http://archiveofourown.org/users/proser132/pseuds/Proser

That's the list. You can reach me through any of the above links, save FFN, which I am leaving posthaste.

Cultural Incongruities: Mapping Out A Society

Hello, sci-fi fans (few that I must have through the long and recent hiatus)! This one's for you (well, and fantasy readers, but mostly you). Ah, how I've missed you all from my podunk corner of the world!

Anyway. To business. And by business, I mean a post beginning on a tangent.

How many of you like Star Wars? Or Star Trek (no, I'm not equating the two, nor am I disclosing my own preference)? Now, what do you like about it?

Let's make a list.

1. The action.
2. The plot.
3. The music.
4. the characterisations.
5. The worlds.

None of that is in order of importance to the over-all effect, by the way. If it was, it'd look like this:

5. The Music.
4. The Action.
3. The Characterisations.
2. The Plot.
1. The Worlds.

And do you know why, precisely, world construction comes first in that lengthy list? Let me give you an example. Suppose you visit Istanbul. You peer through all the little side streets, explore the ruins, perhaps visit a mosque or two. Nothing fancy, really -- you're just experiencing a city, albeit one of the most beautiful cities in the world (in this humble author's opinion).

Now suppose you've been hired to write a film set in Istanbul. You do so, and they offer to have you direct, and you try to commission the most realistic set of Istanbul they can get, short of filming there in the first place. You go in, and realise that it's just a bunch of cardboard cut-outs. So, like any other director not trying to skimp out on your movie, you just film in Istanbul in the first place. Get my drift?

No? Here, let me spell it out for you. The set was just cardboard cutouts. It was every stereotypical thing you could imagine about Istanbul, but it wasn't Istanbul. It had no life, no depth, no nothing. (Ignore my double negative there). How would you make it breath?

Well, you'd start with people. No matter how shitty the construction of your city, it still houses thousands of people. Indigenous folk are a good place to start -- what does the average denizen of your city act like? Are they snobbish, or constantly angry? Dazed with euphoria, pissy as hell, gentle but cautious? Are the poor, middle-class, filthy rich?

Is it a tourist spot? Would there be people from other cities, other worlds, other galaxies? What attracts them -- the atmosphere, the food, the gambling? Are they desperate for tourism?

Is it a specialised planet, or is it more like Earth -- many cultures, many languages? Or all one language, one culture? (Cracked.com makes a good point about this.And by 'good point', I mean drills home the fact that it's a stupid thing to do.)

But, Victory! You whine like the nonexistent readers you are. You're talking about cities! You're talking about planets! What about the title? What about societies?

True, societies are more (much, much more) than just a city, just a planet. But I'm not done with you yet. Because so far, all we've done is talk about the backdrop. Remember my Istanbul analogy above? So far, all we've done is construct the basic city and littered it with extras. We're not done yet.

So... to the people. What kind of people are they? Assuming (for the sake of simplicity) that they are all one race, are there any dominant traits among them? Not just physical ones, mind you, but psychological ones -- are they stubborn as a people? Violent? Kind? Meek? Defiant, supportive -- any of a thousand different traits can be applied here.

And then, as a painter varies hues, you'll vary the intensity. Some people will be kinder than others, or more hostile. Are there sub-cultures in your society? Are there warriors, artists, entertainers, caretakers, social workers? OR are all of them specialised (see Star Trek/Wars, where they've never bothered to populate a planet with more than one kind of people) in one field, like cooks, or architects?

Now, consider their values. What do they prize in an ideal individual? Remember: these people may be very different from you. Sometimes, it's hard to distance yourself from a character or a city, but you have to remember that they aren't you. There are going to be parts of them that you don't like -- maybe they prize truth above all else, but punish lying (any lying) with death, regardless of the need for a lie. That they do that just makes them more plausible. Remember, though! Don't go to extremes just to impress your reader -- sometimes the most believable character is the understated one.

A cute little segue I just gave myself, straight to the main and supporting characters. Are you going to play up certain aspects of their cultural heritage? Do they wrestle with certain ideals/values of their society, or embrace them? Perhaps they're uncomfortable with people who act differently, or trust them to keep their own values away from the main character's. They might work well with one kind of person, and terribly with another.

However, it's important to remember: all the work you just put in above may never be seen by the reader. But your knowledge of the society as a whole will flavour your work and make it more real, make it tip the scales in the favour of belief. And when writing sci-fi, that barrier -- the transition from disbelief to belief -- is what separates good books from great books.

That's all for today, but the next post will be something that applies to all genres, not just sci-fi. Yep, we're looking at the Hero archetype and how to spice it up.

See you next time!

Brilliance (Or The Lack Thereof): Writing A Genius Character...

...Is bloody fuckin' hard. And before someone says that it's not, let me warn you: I have a very smelly, very dead fish to smack you with if you say it.

I see the mouths snapping shut from here.

You see, the thing about writing a genius character is that you either underdo it ('Jimmy saw the paper-clip, and realised that the thief had obviously removed it from the stack of deeds he had stolen') or overdo it ('Jimmy looked at the lake and realised that the evil Dr. Amorpheus had stolen the keys to President Reagan's personal go-cart and was planning on rigging it with atomic bombs stolen from Area 51'). Genius is hard to capture in real life, but in fiction? Fuck looking for a needle in a haystack, you're looking for one atom of anti-grav per several billion iron atoms (Thanks, Whitley Strieber!)

So, what makes a genius different from other people (other than being really smart?) Seriously, think about this. Do you personally know anyone you would describe as brilliant? What else is different about them? Somehow, I doubt they use their 'powers' of intelligence to score chicks. And, if they do -- wow, you've got some kick-ass friends. I also doubt that they use them to solve crimes or save the world. Triple the badass if you know one who does all three. Watching a James Bond movie does not count.

No, genuine genii are hard to capture in a few words. I mean, they're smart, yeah. But that whole idea that with brilliance comes madness? Yeah, that's not too far off the mark. That link leads to a site dedicated to psychiatric patients who are really fucking smart. Articles, forums, the whole shebang de bang (I also really like the name Icarus Project. Go to the forum page).

The thing about really smart people is that, well, your character is likely way smarter than you. Statistically. Not sayin' you're stupid, or something, but the threshold for MENSA application (depending on which test you take, of course) is 132 for the Stanford-Binet, 148 for the Cattel, or at least in the 98th percentile. Just to put that in perspective: average scores are 90-109, a 100 on the Cattel, or really anything below 97%. It's really, really hard to be classified as a genius. Brilliance, however, may be closer to you than you think.

Brilliance is not the lack of genius, but rather the lack of classification. Everyone has their moment in the sun, and if writing a brilliant character is too difficult (or too out of the question), writing a character with those occasional bursts of beyond-the-pale intelligence is within the ballpark.

Victory will have to do a full post (or several. Or a novel) on the art of characterisation, but for now, the genius post will do. I think at some point I'll address archetypes...

Oh! And keep this on the down low, but in a couple months you might see the advent of a new set of artists, here in podunky Vermont. Proser Studios... we shall see...

God, it's good to be back.

Avoiding Plot-Holes In the Road

I really wanted to make a joke about road-head up there, but I refrained due to politeness and the fact that it would have made my title ridiculously long.

Pardon my long absence – living in a rural area with no internet is a problem many of us in America and, indeed, many of us in the world share. I merely thank whatever deity that may or may not exist that there are such blessings as public libraries. Anywho. To the post.

Plot-holes are the parts of a story that go unresolved. Occasionally, plot-holes are a fabulous way to segue into a sequel, prequel, or another series altogether. And other times, they're the horrifying interruption to the amazing road-head of a good novel (see, there's my road-head joke.)

Sometimes, they're minor (why was there a knife in the bedroom, anyway?), and sometimes they're not (using a famous, copyrighted example here – why didn't E.T. just fly away from the government officials in the first place? And none of that crap about a heart-light, either.)

Step one to fixing plot-holes? Prevent them in the first place. Explain how the knife got into the bedroom, why Jillian couldn't use her magical cure-all to save Jimmy, what caused the sonic rainbow that gave everypony their Cutie Mark (bronies, thank me later). Maybe the main character was sharpening a pencil and couldn't find a sharpener, so he used a knife (very manly). Maybe Jillian used it all up on saving Ryan, and didn't have anything left for Jimmy. Maybe a Pegasus was in a race for another Pegasus' honour, and flew with all of her might and created a sonic rainbow with the power of her desire to win.

Step two? Resolve or explain the conflicts, but don't drop them. Suppose both Carrie-Ann and Alina are in love with Starship Commander Rufus, but he's too busy fighting an inter-stellar war to notice anyone but his Lieutenant, Mikel. Don't just say Carrie-Ann and Alina are in love with him – make it affect their actions, the way they interact with each other and the centre of Rufus' attention, Mikel.

Is that the only way to do it? Heck, no! Sometimes the deliciousness of a good novel comes from the fact that there are unresolved conflicts. Mikel never admits to his feelings for Rufus, Alina and Carrie-Ann never get the man of their dreams, Rufus (in typical oblivious superior fashion) never realises the nature of Mikel's loyalty to him. But notice that the conflicts are explained. We know that Mikel will never admit it, we know that Carrie-Ann and Alina are unfulfilled, we know that Rufus is so oblivious he wouldn't notice if Mikel danced in front of him wearing little more than a brown paper napkin around his manly bits.

Also? If you leave explained unresolved conflicts in your book/movie/play/graphic novel, it opens up a whole world for the fans who are dying to draw fan comics and write fanfiction. Take it from a fanfiction writer – it's true. There's much more to play with in series that have explained unresolved conflicts than ones where everything is tied up neatly like a package. Those are enjoyable, but they don't leave much room to wonder.

Step three, and this one's so tricky it requires all capslock – CRAFT THE STORY IN SUCH A WAY THAT THERE ARE NO PLOT-HOLES!!!!!

For those of you who aren't lying on the ground, bowled over by my enthusiasm, that means you have to be really good before you even start writing. You have to plan.

I see winces from my seat in little podunk Vermont. I can even hear you whining – 'But, Victory!!! I write best when I don't have a plan!'

Really? You just sit down and write, and masterpieces come out? Liar. You sit down with a scene in your head, or a character in mind, or a place to write about, or any number of things, and then it comes from there. But I'm asking you to take it to the next level.

In fact, I'm asking you to do something even published writers have trouble doing. I'm asking you to know where your story starts, and where it ends, and the major events that get the book from A to Z. No, seriously. You have to think about it before you can write it. And I don't mean you have to know everything – I could never tell you to do that, because I could never do that. But know the mechanics of the event before it happens. Does your main character kill off the villain with the Spear of Destiny in chapter forty three? Then it's safe to say that you really should have an idea of how they got the Spear of Destiny before, say, chapter forty two. Because that kind of sounds like the climax of your story, and you really should explain it.

So, the steps (in easy-to-reference format):

1. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. No, seriously. It is. And that's a quote from Ben Franklin, in case you haven't previously had this quote shoved down your throat.
2. Resolve or explain conflicts. Occasionally both, but never neither.
3. PLAN! PLAN! PLAN!!

There you go, the three steps to avoid plot-holes.

Got questions in particular or a writing topic you want me to address? Feel that such-and-such controversial topic could do with Victory's spicy-hot wit(?) Let me know, and if I find it interesting I'll write up a post for it.

Next up on Worlds of My Devising: Cultural Influences. Stay tuned!

He Said, She Said -- Believable Dialogue (Beware Clichéd Title)

Victory (V): O, woe is me, o alack the day! Dialogue -- thou art surely one of the demons of creation, sent from He who burns beneath earth, to plague those who --

Red (R): What the hell is with the Shakespeak, Victory?

V: It's for the dialogue post. What, you don't like?

R: It's kind of... well, it's kind of dorky.

V: Like I've ever cared about that. Everyone, this is Red -- one of the various inhabitants of the multiverse in my head. Say hi!
R: 'Lo. Focus on the point of the post.

V: Ah, right! Okay, today's topic is dialogue -- the evil bastard that many beginning writers struggle with (and many published writers do, too. Yeah, Stephanie Meyer, I'm lookin' at you.) Dialogue seems easy as hell -- most first-time writers think that the hardest part is scene set up and plot. But Dialogue really is a pain in the ass --

R: -- Even if it looks simple at first. Look at this. Victory and I have different speech patterns, as she tends to use a lot of dashes and long sentences. I use short ones.

V: One person may speak a lot, and the other very little, but the one who says very little might be saying more. If that sentence makes any sense.

R: It doesn't. But not every character knows perfect grammar. If Victory had used perfect grammar in every sentence it wouldn't sound authentic.

V: Another thing to remember is accents -- don't let them overpower the actual sentence. If the reader can't -- you know, read it -- then there's no point to them saying anything.

R: Don't say 'said' all the time. But be sure to make it make sense -- is there isn't an 's' in the sentence, why would the character 'hiss' it?

V: Quick work, but it'll do -- adios!

Self-Editing: I Really Need To Do This More

Before we get to the actual purpose of this post, Victory would like to say one thing:

My life is full of fuck.

Thank you, dduane, for correcting me – indeed, it was Wolfram von Eschenbach who first wrote down the original version of Parsifal, not Sir Tomas Malory. The edit is greatly appreciated.

And yes, for those of you wondering just why, exactly, dduane sounds familiar, that's because she is Diane Duane, author of So You Want To Be a Wizard, the book I included in my list of books that use the 'average teen with latent powers and/or destiny' section of my last post. And yes, for those of you hissing in sympathy and/or crowing 'dduane for the win', I was thoroughly embarrassed. Not for what I said – that is entirely my personal opinion, as are all of my posts, and I will not apologise for them. But because she actually found the one post where I said something bad about that series... -sighs- Well, can't win all of them.

However, in spite of the slightly (ahem) clichéd beginning of the Young Wizards series, can I just say: I am only ever critical towards works (excepting, of course, the Mary-Sues) I greatly respect. Everything else is, at the risk of sounding egocentric, not worth my time. And dduane, I am honoured you took the time to read my post.

Alright, now that the grovelling is over, let's get to the purpose of this post: self-editing. Many high-school English teachers will tell you this is impossible. I ask you now to imagine a buzzer going off.

I am here to tell you they're wrong. It's harder, yes; you have a bias, yes; but before you can count it out, consider that whole draft process they told you about in English class. And what is that but a self-edit?

Cue lightbulb.

When editing, it's important to keep your bias in mind. You will always be biased; that's what makes an editor a writer's best friend (and occasionally their most hated enemy.) But sometimes that bias will come in handy. Where an editor could potentially look at a chapter and say 'cut it' without blinking an eye, a writer would remember favourite sentences and rewrite the chapter, thus salvaging something that, without a bias, would be scrapped.

On the other hand, seriously consider the import of the section to the rest of the piece. If it's a long soliloquy on life and the meaning thereof in the middle of a teenage comedy novel? You might want to reconsider that. Remember the focus of the piece – the overarching atmosphere and (I hate to say it) 'message' of the writing. Metaphors, while beautiful, can clog up a perfectly good piece of work. Motifs should have something to do with the mood of the piece, and show up more than when you're just in the mood to plop them in.

Grammar. The foe of writers. We simultaneously hate it and love it (it makes us sound so pretty, but it's such a bitch to work with; it's a bit like the main soprano in Norma, actually.) But no matter your opinion, it can sometimes be the most painful part of editing. That clever work of wordplay? Just got bitch-slapped by the fact that you put an unnecessary apostrophe in 'its', ruining the meaning. Applause, jack ass. Now fix it.

But grammar is a sneaky bastard – sometimes a sentence that reads normally fails fantastically once read aloud and you realise you used the wrong 'their' or 'to'. And while writers would like to think themselves above it, everyone does it. Even Victory (though I hate admitting it. It's like admitting that you peed in the pool. Shameful.)

Oh, but then there is something beyond even grammar that makes the main soprano from Norma look easy to work with, and that's rhythm.

There was once a poet that went outside and stood on a cliff, shouting his works to the wind, just to make sure it sounded right. That, m'dears, is dedication, and if you don't have a cliff, go find one, because you need dedication to make it in this line of work.  I'm not talking iambic pentameter, here – just make sure your sentence trips off the tongue like a klutz up the stairs. And shake it up – place short sentences amid long ones, or the reader will fall asleep.

So remember:

1.         Focus: Find it, and stick with it. Take care to repair where you step out of line.

2.         Grammar: Learn it, use it, and for the love of the Goddess, don't lose it!

3.         Rhythm: If you don't have this, go out and purchase soul music, and soul food, and soul cakes, because you need some serious soul. Or listen to jazz. Or rock. Something with a driving rhythm. And start using it.

I should really start making these posts longer, but unfortunately, I only have enough time between this, fanfic, and trying to finish up Sepulchre in time to publish it before I'm eighteen to write short, two page things.

Next up: I tackle dialogue. And yes, it will be written entirely in script form.